Monday, November 24, 2025

2025-2026 Sheikh Gucci Power Rankings Week 5

Sorry all for the lack of rankings last week. I was traveling for a job that actually pays me - but I'm back now so lets get these rankings out!


RankTeamPFPASTRKMOVES
1General Sahib  (Arshad Jaffery)71706067.25W47
2Team HARAMBE!!!!!  (Roman Ghney)69226302.5W519
3Buz Cruise  (Mustafa Masood)6737.55651.25W418
4The Paolo Express  (Mujabe Shekib)6565.255820L112
5W E M-V-P  (Azim Khalique)6490.255258W321
6Rock 'Em Siakam Robots  (Qais Yar)64726532.5L328
7Khanqueror  (Faris Khan)5936.756420.5L121
8ball is life  (nauman bakhrani)5768.756592.5L25
9Cobra Kawhi  (Sama T. B.)5599.55463W14
10The Math Ain't Mathing  (Riamo Equah)52536176.5W17
11Overweight Young Gids  (Zuhair Haque)51706367.75L45
12Dunkin' Donuts  (usman hussain)47116144.25L20

Insights:

  • General Sahib is currently the number 1 ranked team in the rankings and the first team to score more than 7k fpts this season
    • Will that translate to getting out out the first round? No....probably not.
  • General Sahib is also keeping the number of moves to a minimum which is atypical for his team strategy
    • Will that translate to getting out of the first round? No....probably not.
  • Team HARAMBE!!!!!!! trails General Sahib by 248 pts.
    • General Sahib approves
  • Team Ball is Life has had the hardest schedule
    • if ball is life, then life must be hard
  • Shoutout to the Buz Cruise for being the third best team with the third hardest schedule and third most amount of call for attention in this league. 
    • The glory of being the runner up to the runner up surely is not lost with this team owner - Go Bears!
  • Dunkin Donuts....exists. That is all
  • The Math Ain't Mathing finally won a game! Who needs trades?
    • This team needs trades - please reach out!

Other News:

The Trade Committee has Fallen!

In a stunning and unprecedented development, the Sheikh Gucci League has witnessed the collapse of what many believed would stand forever: The Trade Committee—an institution as rigid, immovable, and bureaucratic as any Cold War relic.

After years of division, suspicion, and iron-fisted regulation of even the simplest of trade proposals (“I give you Anthony Davis; you give me… literally anything of value?”), the committee has been officially dismantled.

Crowds of fantasy managers flooded the streets—refreshing their ESPN app repeatedly—to celebrate. Sources report that transparency, freedom, and player-for-player exchanges may once again flow across team borders without fear of a five-day waiting period or a 2-1 veto from men who haven’t checked the standings since Week 2.

Resident League Statistician, SAMA T.B. however had one stressing question: "Is the math even mathing?"

Stay tuned to find out!



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